We are living in a post-colonial era even in our corporate
sector multinational organizations. The remnants of a master slave culture are commonly prevalent, still very binding and deeply
entrenched in our DNA. Hence people fear speaking up. Hence we call our
superiors Sir or Madam or Sahab. Hence we want people to grovel and beg and seek our mighty
favor whenever they need anything.
To be more egalitarian and likeable we need to improve our
communication skills. We respond to a need with a no first and then negotiate.
Instead we need to ask kind probing questions first, bring the human element into
play, listen and then decide. We may not have a solution for every problem but we
can at least listen? Being likeable doesn’t have to mean compromising on our
principles or our position of respect. Relate to the problem and it becomes a
no-brainer from there on. For example:
Your subordinate: Sir, I need ten days off for a family
emergency.
Wrong approach: Absolutely not! [Note the instant denial] Didn’t you just take three days off last
month? [Note the stabbing] Everything
is an emergency for you isn’t it? [Note
the labeling of the person]
Right approach: Is everything okay? How can I help you?
How can we
ensure that your emergency is addressed while making sure that everything flows
smoothly in your unit while you are away? Can you easily make do with 4 days instead of 10?
Director with two decades of experience in telecommunications, banking and academia.
This person chose to remain anonymous.
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